What Families Wish They Knew Before Hiring a Nanny

For many families, the decision to hire a nanny comes at a turning point. Maybe daycare no longer feels like the right fit. Maybe your schedule has become unmanageable. Or maybe you simply know your child would thrive with one-on-one attention.

Whatever brings you here, the process of finding the right nanny can feel overwhelming at first. Questions pile up: Where do I start? How do I know who to trust? Will someone love and care for my child the way I do?

At Tots Luv Childcare, we’ve walked alongside many families in this exact place. And over the years, parents have often told us the same thing: “I wish I had known this before I started.”

So, this blog is for the families just beginning the journey — or even just considering it. Here are some of the most important things families wish they knew before hiring a nanny.

1. It’s About More Than Just Childcare

Most parents begin the search thinking about the basics: safety, feeding schedules, nap times, and activities. And of course, those are important.

But what many families discover is that a nanny becomes much more than someone who checks tasks off a list.

A nanny can become a partner in parenting — someone who:

• Reinforces family values.

• Helps children learn through play.

• Provides stability in times of change.

• Supports parents by lightening the mental load.

  
  

Parents often say, “I thought I was hiring someone to help with childcare. I didn’t realize I was inviting someone into our family’s story.”

2. The Relationship Matters Just as Much as the Resume

Yes, experience matters. Training matters. References matter. But when it comes down to it, the connection between your family and your nanny is just as important as qualifications.

Families tell us the best placements happen when:

• The nanny’s personality blends well with the family’s rhythm.

• Values line up — how you view discipline, education, routines, or even screen time.

• Communication feels easy and natural.

  
  

One parent put it perfectly: “We hired for skills, but we stayed for the relationship.”

3. Children Remember the Small Things

Parents are often surprised at how deeply nannies shape their child’s memories. It’s not just the big milestones — it’s the small, everyday moments that stay with them.

A child may forget who taught them to ride a bike, but they’ll remember the person who sang silly songs while packing lunches, or who comforted them after a scraped knee.

Families later realize: Hiring a nanny isn’t just a decision for today — it’s an investment in the kind of childhood memories their kids will carry forever.

4. Trust Takes Time (and That’s Okay)

Even when you find the right match, trust doesn’t happen overnight. Many parents go into the process expecting to feel 100% confident right away, but it’s normal to take time.

The early days are about building a rhythm — learning each other’s styles, communicating openly, and making adjustments as you go. Families often wish they had given themselves permission to ease into the relationship, instead of expecting instant perfection.

5. Boundaries and Expectations Prevent Misunderstandings

One of the most common things families say is, “I wish we had set clearer expectations in the beginning.”

It’s not about being strict — it’s about being clear. Things like:

• What household tasks are included (and what aren’t).

• How you want discipline handled.

• How communication works during the day (texts? updates? pictures?).

• Scheduling and flexibility.

  
  

Clear boundaries set everyone up for success. They also show respect for your nanny as a professional, which strengthens the relationship long-term.

6. Support for Parents Is Just as Valuable as Care for Kids

This one surprises families the most. While the nanny’s primary role is caring for children, parents often find themselves unexpectedly supported, too.

Whether it’s having someone to talk to about a tough day, knowing meals or routines are handled, or simply walking into a calmer home — families realize how much lighter life feels when they aren’t carrying it all alone.

One mom said, “I thought hiring a nanny was for my kids. But honestly, it saved me, too.”

7. Nannies Need Recognition, Too

Families often admit they didn’t realize how meaningful it is to show appreciation to their nanny until after the fact. Small gestures — a thank-you note, celebrating birthdays, or recognizing their efforts — go a long way.

When nannies feel valued, they pour even more love and energy into their work. Families discover that appreciation isn’t just kind — it strengthens the bond.

8. Agency Support Makes a Difference

Some parents try to navigate the nanny search on their own. While that works for some, many come back saying they wish they had used an agency from the beginning. Why?

Because agency support means:

• Careful vetting and background checks.

• Guidance through interviews and contracts.

• Ongoing support if challenges arise.

• Peace of mind knowing you don’t have to do it all yourself.

  
  

Families often say it saved them time, stress, and even money in the long run — because the match was stronger and longer-lasting.

What This Means for Families Considering a Nanny

If you’re just beginning to think about hiring a nanny, here’s the biggest takeaway: you don’t have to have it all figured out right away. You’ll learn as you go, just like other families have.

What matters most is being open — open to support, open to building trust, and open to creating a partnership that lifts up your whole family.

Final Thoughts 💛

Parenting was never meant to be done alone. While every family’s journey is unique, one thing is clear: the right nanny can bring more than just childcare. They bring stability, joy, and a sense of relief that parents often don’t realize they needed.

And when families look back, they rarely say, “I wish we hadn’t hired a nanny.” Instead, they say, “I wish we had done it sooner.”

From all of us at Tots Luv Childcare: Whether you’re just beginning to explore the idea or you’re ready to take the next step, know that you don’t have to figure it out on your own. Support is here — for you, your child, and your family.